


I'm thinking of you (sometimes)

by alkjira



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, anti-fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-18
Updated: 2014-03-18
Packaged: 2018-01-16 05:34:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1333954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alkjira/pseuds/alkjira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You’re not star-crossed lovers because you’ve got the power to drive each other crazy in two seconds flat, that just means you’re both going to end up in the loony bin.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm thinking of you (sometimes)

**Author's Note:**

> *shrugs*  
> Peeps, your guess is as good as mine. I think the angst from the BB is taking over what is supposed to be my *fluffy* one-shots.

”You’re not really going to go and see him tomorrow, are you?” Esme said, startling Bilbo quite badly as he’d not heard her open the bathroom door.  
  
Too used to living alone he still hadn’t gotten in the habit of locking it even after sharing a flat for over a year.  
  
They didn’t _need_ to live together, both of them were well enough off that they could pay for Uni without splitting bills with someone, but it’d been… nice when Esmeralda had asked. Bilbo hadn’t really seen a lot of his family since his parents- since he moved.  
  
He’d not missed _all_ of them, but yeah. It was nice living with her. Usually.  
  
”Esmeralda, heard of a concept called privacy?” Bilbo asked archly, quickly pulling his bathrobe more securely around himself and turning away from the mirror. It hadn’t told him something he particularly cared to know anyway.  
  
“ _Are_ you?”  
  
“None of your business, cousin.”  
  
“It’ll be my business the next time I find you curled up in a miserable lump on the couch, _cousin_.”

Bilbo licked his lips but didn’t reply and Esmeralda sighed.  
  
“You’re not star-crossed lovers because you’ve got the power to drive each other crazy in two seconds flat, that just means you’re both going to end up in the loony bin if you keep this up.”  
  
“You shouldn’t call it that, it’s-“  
  
“Not important to the question I’m trying to make. I’ve seen him make you miserable. I don’t think you should be with someone who can make you that unhappy.”  
  
“He makes me happy too,” Bilbo said quietly. And it was true. Sometimes… sometimes he thought he hadn’t even _known_ what it felt like to be happy before he met Thorin. “And he loves me. And I love him.”  
  
“Yeah, and, so?” Esmeralda reached out to touch Bilbo’s shoulder and green eyes met hazel. “You’ve got nothing in common, you’re twenty and he’s almost twenty year _older_ , he lied to you about what he works with, and you lied about your age, and-”  
  
“I didn’t tell you that for you to use as ammunition.” Bilbo shrugged away from her hand. “And he did tell me, and apologised for not telling me right away. And I didn’t really lie, I just- didn’t really correct him right away.”  
  
It was entirely understandable that Thorin hadn’t told him what he did for a living beyond ‘business’ when they first met. If he told just anyone he met that he owned one of the biggest corporations in the country then there’d not be an end to all the people looking to take advantage of that.  
  
“I’m not saying that he wasn’t sorry, or that you weren’t. I’m saying that-“  
  
“What _are_ you saying?” Bilbo asked, folding his arms over his chest.  
  
“You know what I’m going to say, Bilbo,” Esmeralda said tiredly. “You know. Because you’ve spent more time with him than I have, and you’re not stupid or suffering from amnesia. I _like_ him, don't think I don't. That’s not the issue. He’s charming much like Kíli is charming; accidental and very disarming. Why can’t you date him instead?”  
  
“He’s too y-“ Bilbo bit his tongue.  
  
“Too young?” Esmeralda raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, a year is a huge age difference I’m sure.”  
  
“It’s not the same thing,” Bilbo said, brushing by his cousin to exit the bathroom. “It has to do with maturity.”  
  
Kíli was a good friend, one of the best Bilbo had ever had in fact, but he thought pouring salt in your coffee when you weren’t looking was amongst the highest form of humour.  
  
Bilbo hadn’t actually known that Thorin and Kíli were related when he’d started seeing Thorin. It had been somewhat a shock to learn that Thorin’s ‘little nephew’ and Bilbo’s classmate had been one and the same. But they’d gotten past that as well. And been stronger for it.  
  
Esmeralda followed him into the kitchen and leaned against the counter as Bilbo grabbed a glass and filled it with water from the tap.  
  
“Right. You’re mature. He’s mature. Brilliant. And the rest? Like how he thinks he can buy forgiveness with presents?”  
  
“He doesn’t think that,” Bilbo defended, tapping his fingers against the side of the glass. “It’s just, he’s grown up like that. He thinks that’s what you’re supposed to do.”

“So he _does_ think like that?”  
  
“That’s not- I don’t want to talk about this. I’m going to bed.” Bilbo put the glass down in the sink, then picked it up, emptied it out, and put it down again.

“I’m not trying to paint him as the bad guy, but-“  
  
Bilbo snorted. “You could have fooled me.”  
  
“You can’t deny you’ve come home heartbroken because of him.”  
  
“And I can’t deny that I’ve made him upset as well.” Bilbo walked around the counter towards the door but Esmeralda wouldn’t move. “Esme, I’m not the injured party. When we’ve fought I’ve been just as guilty-“  
  
“With the risk of sounding like a broken record, that’s not the point I’m trying to make.”

“Then why is every sentence out of your mouth something disparaging about Thorin?”  
  
“Because you can be a good person and still do stupid things. You can be in love and still hurt each other. Bilbo, he even told you that he’d prefer it if you didn’t work after you graduated. Don’t you-“  
  
“Is this some feminist thing?”  
  
“I am so close to smacking either of our heads into the counter right now,” Esmeralda said wearily. “You’ve always used to trust my judgement when it comes to people, why can’t you do the same thing now?”  
  
“Because you’re _wrong_. Now please move out of the way.”  
  
“Can I say one more thing?”  
  
“You’ve not asked for my permission so far,” Bilbo huffed. “I don’t see how I can stop you.”  
  
“He’s got a drinking problem,” Esmeralda said bluntly. “Or he’s walking the line of acquiring one.”  
  
Bilbo blinked. “And where did that come from? A drinking problem?” That was absurd.  
  
“Just- think about it.” She sighed and moved out of the doorway. “All of it. Please.”  
  
“I-“  
  
“Please?”  
  
“If you promise to remember how I’m actually an adult in charge of my own life and that I’ve been so for longer than you have.”  
  
Esmeralda’s smile was slightly sad. “Bilbo even if you live to be more than 130 years old I’m still going to worry about you. It’s what you do when you love someone.”

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song 'Gamla Ullevi' by the Swedish band Kent, not that I'm sure that the end result has very much to do with the song, and this will mean nothing in particular to you anyway unless you know Swedish and can listen to it with some understanding, but there you have it. 
> 
> Below is a verse from the song that I translated since it was what started this (I don't claim to be particularly good at translating).
> 
> 'I'm thinking of you  
> I'm thinking of you  
> I'm thinking of you sometimes
> 
> Give me a new drug that takes me somewhere  
> I need a new medicine and a new land  
> When I fall happy and free it was false alarm, false advertising  
> But even fervent liars have their charm'
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jljMKtDwbVg


End file.
